Pitchers and Catchers Reporting For Duty, SIR!

By / February 17, 2010 / Spring Training

Pitchers and catchers report tomorrow with the first workout scheduled for the 20th. Position players report on the 23rd with their first workout scheduled for the 25th.

If I were running Spring Training, this is how I would be welcoming the players.

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FALL IN LADIES!

Welcome to Spring Training BRONX style!

The rules are as follows:

  • There will be no crying.
  • No whining.
  • No laziness.
  • No texting.
  • No phone calls to mommy talking about how hard it is here.

You will SUCK IT UP!

You will come in here as boys and leave as men. You will sweat. You will be in pain. You will WANT to cry, but are ordered to suck it up. If I see one tear, you will be running laps until your legs fall off.

If I see you fall, I will dance on your grave until I wake you back up.

Your mission, which you will accept since you are making millions, is to work your asses off.

You will learn how to play baseball.

You will learn to field, Mr. Murphy and company.

You will learn to hit, Mr. Wright and hitters two through six.

You will learn to pitch, Mr. Mike Pelfrey and Mr. Oliver Perez.

You will learn how to run the bases, Mr. Jose Reyes.

YOU WILL LEARN TO COMMUNICATE WITH ONE ANOTHER, MR. CASTILLO AND COMPANY.

You will shut up and do as you are told. You will only speak when spoken to.If I want your opinion, I will ask for it.

There will be no parties. There will be no drinking. There will be no poker nights.

Ladies, you are here for one thing and one thing only, TO MAKE UP FOR THE PATHETIC SEASON YOU MADE THE FANS OF THE NEW YORK METS WATCH!!

DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?

That’s what I thought. Now go report to your respective instructors.

FALL OUT!


About Author

Tanya

12 Comments

Frank

Yes, absolutely, I agree! They need a drill sergeant down there. What are you doing for the next month and a half Tanya? Maybe the Mets could provide you a round trip ticket to talk to the players instead of bringing in Sandy Koufax for yet another Dodger lovefest.

Reply
Tanya Mercado

@ Frank – LOL! Outside of work and school, nothing. I’d be more than happy to talk to the players. Heck! Somebody give them a link to the blog. lol

Reply
Frank

Yes, absolutely, I agree! They need a drill sergeant down there. What are you doing for the next month and a half Tanya? Maybe the Mets could provide you a round trip ticket to talk to the players instead of bringing in Sandy Koufax for yet another Dodger lovefest.

Reply
Tanya Mercado

@ Frank – LOL! Outside of work and school, nothing. I’d be more than happy to talk to the players. Heck! Somebody give them a link to the blog. lol

Reply
Nilvio

HAHAHA. That was so funny Tanya. Thank you!

I a surprised that you didn’t use Angel Pagan instead of Jose Reyes for running the bases.

Reply
Tanya Mercado

I actually forgot all about Pagan. lol He is kind of like an afterthought to me. Glad you enjoyed it though. I was in school when I wrote it and people thought I was crazy because I was laughing as I wrote it.

Reply
Nilvio

HAHAHA. That was so funny Tanya. Thank you!

I a surprised that you didn’t use Angel Pagan instead of Jose Reyes for running the bases.

Reply
Tanya Mercado

I actually forgot all about Pagan. lol He is kind of like an afterthought to me. Glad you enjoyed it though. I was in school when I wrote it and people thought I was crazy because I was laughing as I wrote it.

Reply

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