Pitchers and catchers report tomorrow with the first workout scheduled for the 20th. Position players report on the 23rd with their first workout scheduled for the 25th.
If I were running Spring Training, this is how I would be welcoming the players.
FALL IN LADIES!
Welcome to Spring Training BRONX style!
The rules are as follows:
- There will be no crying.
- No whining.
- No laziness.
- No texting.
- No phone calls to mommy talking about how hard it is here.
You will SUCK IT UP!
You will come in here as boys and leave as men. You will sweat. You will be in pain. You will WANT to cry, but are ordered to suck it up. If I see one tear, you will be running laps until your legs fall off.
If I see you fall, I will dance on your grave until I wake you back up.
Your mission, which you will accept since you are making millions, is to work your asses off.
You will learn how to play baseball.
You will learn to field, Mr. Murphy and company.
You will learn to hit, Mr. Wright and hitters two through six.
You will learn to pitch, Mr. Mike Pelfrey and Mr. Oliver Perez.
You will learn how to run the bases, Mr. Jose Reyes.
YOU WILL LEARN TO COMMUNICATE WITH ONE ANOTHER, MR. CASTILLO AND COMPANY.
You will shut up and do as you are told. You will only speak when spoken to.If I want your opinion, I will ask for it.
There will be no parties. There will be no drinking. There will be no poker nights.
Ladies, you are here for one thing and one thing only, TO MAKE UP FOR THE PATHETIC SEASON YOU MADE THE FANS OF THE NEW YORK METS WATCH!!
DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR?
That’s what I thought. Now go report to your respective instructors.