Pitchers, Catchers and Position Players Report With New Blood

By / February 15, 2011 / 2011 Season, Spring Training

Technically the reporting date is supposed to be tomorrow. However, with more than half of the players there now, I figure we will move it to today. Why not, right? With that said, welcome the new blood and captain of the team: Terry Collins.

If I were at the Mets Spring Training facility right now, I would like to think this is the speech that Collins would give to the 2011 New York Mets players. Some of you might remember this post, but I gave it a Collins twist.

The Year of the Gangsta is over. Welcome in the Year of the Drill Sargeant!

Welcome to your 2011 Spring Training. I am Terry Collins, your new manager AND captain. I feel great being here with all of you and think that we can make a run for the playoffs this year with the players that we have.

I understand many of you are concerned about the situation going on with the Wilpons. However, to be perfectly honest, it is none of your business. So mind your own business. The only business you should be concerning yourself with is what is happening on the baseball field. That is your business and that is what the fans are coming to see.

With all of that said, let’s begin. The Spring Training rules are as follows:

  • There will be no crying.
  • No whining.
  • No laziness.
  • No texting.
  • No phone calls to mommy talking about how hard it is here.

YOU WILL SUCK IT UP!

You will come in here as boys and leave as men. You will sweat. You will be in pain. You will WANT to cry, but are ordered to suck it up. If I see one tear, you will be running laps until your legs fall off.

Your mission, which you will accept since you are making millions, is to work your asses off.

You will learn how to play baseball. Ladies, it is all about fundamentals and that is what we are going to work on.

You will learn to field, Mr. Murphy and company.

You will learn to hit, Mr. Wright and hitters two through six.

You will learn to pitch, Mr. Oliver Perez.

You will learn how to run the bases with your brain, Mr. Jose Reyes.

You will shut up and do as you are told. You will only speak when spoken to. If I want your opinion, I will ask for it.

There will be no parties. There will be no drinking. There will be no poker nights. This is not a fraternity. Think of this as the army and I am your drill sargeant.

Ladies, you are here for one thing and one thing only, to make up for the disappointing seasons you have shown Mets fans. You are better than what you have shown. Your baseball cards say you are better than what you have shown.

I do not care about how much money you are making. Only that you are earning it and YOU HAD BETTER EARN IT! It does not matter how big your contracts are. If you do not do your job, you will lose your job.

If you have a problem with anything I have said, go speak to your new GM, Sandy Alderson. I’m sure he can make some lucrative trade and send you packing somewhere else.

You play for the New York Mets in NEW YORK CITY! You knew what you were coming to. You could be in Kansas City or Pittsburgh. You could be in Miami where the fans could care less what you do and the only people you will see there are your families. But you aren’t. You CHOSE to be here. So play like it still is the place you want to be.

Now go out there and give me a reason to take you back to Flushing with me.

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Tanya

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